Wednesday 29 April 2015

DAY 29: OUR PL HAS TOO FEW LEGS

I love our PL.

She is excellent hunter and brings home FOOD!
She gives me a scratch under the chin, which I adore.
She gives me TREATS!
She is almost perfect.

Only...she has too few legs.
Two.
It's barely 50% of ideal state.
And now she sprained one.

I am devasted.
No mice meadow for dog knows how long.
My PL has some weird grey springy thingy on her knee, which I am not allowed to lick.
I am not at all sure, we don't RUN OUT OF FOOD?!

I see just one way out.
I will raise to the occassion and meet my pack obligations.


Just let me out, I am going for a HUNT!
Dotty will guard the house, no worries.
I will bring MICE for lunch for everybody!




DAY 24 - 28: PACK LAND UNDER SIEGE

We went to our secondary Pack-Land for a few days.

I was looking forward to chasing cats and moles, but I had no idea how dramatic tasks are awaiting me!

Take the morning, for instance. It is necessary to wake our PL up.
The best way to do it is to stick your SNOUT in her face. You would not believe how happy the PL is, when you do it, especially when it is very early in the morning! She even starts wrestling with you. What a joy!
Then you stare majestically to the far horizons for a while.
And then you go to chase those cats.


II know how to walk down the stairs.

And Dotty does not. Snigger, snigger.

I am bad and spiteful dog, my PL says, and carries Dotty down herself.

Which is not fair.

I want to be carried as well!




Anyway, that was just a beginning.

There were intruders! They were attacking our Pack-Land from all sides!

DOGS walked pass our fence!
And HORSES!!
And worst of all - SCREAMING KIDS!
I am sure they were all after my food!


It required a valiant effort to stand our ground and save the Pack-Land from this attempted invasion.
It was touch and go, I can tell you!
Even Dotty took active part this time, just watch us:

You know, our Pack-Land is really great.
It just has TOO MANY sides.
You have to run all around.
And it is BLOODY FAR.
See?

First, you furiously bark on one side.

And then...wait for it...wait for it...HERE I COME!!!

Speeding to the other side like a black jet!
Since I must bark just as furiously on the other side.
That is my pack duty and honor, of course.
If only they built a shortcut through the barn!



My PL said I am a clever girl, guarding a perimeter.
Well, actually, I was guarding my PL and my FOOD!

I feel my legs are warn out, surely they feel much shorter after all the running. I am turning into a dachshound!
So here is one dog face just for you and I am going to take a good long nap to restore the energy!




Tuesday 28 April 2015

DAY 23: I AM GPS DOG



I am GPS dog.

And I have my blog.

I won´t get lost in fog.

Even if I jog.




Well, to be totally honest - it is no match for a good old doggie nose.
All I need to do is to sniff the air and I know that OVER THERE is my PL.
Or my FOOD.

However, my PL does not have a good old doggie nose, so she has GPS instead.
Well, I HAVE GPS instead.
It is sort of my PL´s external nose. Sort of.



For example here we are - me and my PL.
About 2 meters apart.











Actually, if you want to use this, my PL, you need to let me run FREE!
Just saying...

In any case, I am a dog of science and progress.
Dog for 21st century.
And the transmitter suits me, does it not?!
I am COOL!

Monday 27 April 2015

DAY 22: RAINING CATS AND DOGS

Well, it wasn´t.
I wish I knew whoever came up with such a nonsense.
Bah!
I was raining ON CATS AND DOGS!!!

It was quite clear there is no chance for mice meadow today.
But maybe just a short walk?
Many insolents dogs around, I have not barked at for a while.

There was one brief moment of sunshine,
so our PL rushed me and Dorotka out....

Well, to cut a long story short,
two minutes later THIS started to fall:




It was so weird, I felt necessary to check if it is edible by any chance.
It wasn´t.

It was weird.
It was cold.
It was plenty.




Here you can see me slowly burried under this...thing.
I am barely visible anymore.
I am dissappearing forever!



Fortunately, my PL saved me in the very last minute, so it is not the end of this blog yet.
I just REALLY hope weather improves a bit.


Sunday 26 April 2015

DAY 21: DASTARDLY TRICK PLAYED ON LITTLE DOGGY

My beloved PL cowardly tricked me!

Just imagine - she came home as usual.
Put me in the car, as usual.
Dotty went in too, which is fine.

So I am all excited that we are going for walkies, looking forward to my mice meadow...

Mice meadow, my ears!
We went to the vet!
And I got a jab!!

True, we want for a walk afterwards, but that was faaar too late.
I will stare to my PL reproachfully for the entire evening. Maybe I get an extra buiscuit.

P.S. It worked!

I smell trouble!!!

Dotty does not!

Thursday 23 April 2015

DAY 20: BIG DAY!


I would have liked to use capital D but I cannot, since the whole headline is written in capitals.
Nevertheless today was a memorable day. The BIGGEST DAY so far.
 

See this?
Do you know what it is?

Yes, that´s right. It is the end of my long leash.
And what else do you see?
Or rather do you NOT see?
You do not see any hand, since no hand is holding it!!

Today, I was let to run free for the first time.
Well, almost free, I was dragging the leash behind me.
 



I went this FAAAAAAAR!

And I was a very good girl, running back every time my PL called.
See the pictures?
Here I come.
Good, obedient doggy!

Shame there wasn´t more wind.
My ears and tail could have been romantically fluttering in the breeze.
 
Ah well, it was great day anyway!











Wednesday 22 April 2015

DAY 19: I AM A SEMI-GOOD DOG

You know what?
I am ALMOST there!

I run around, sniff here, sniff there, but when my PL calls she no longer needs to yank the leash.
Here, have a look how GOOD dog I am!


(All right, all right, I know - the video is in portrait format and it is wrong. What do you expect, I am only a dog, after all!)

There are even moments when I come back without called.
Just like that.
Just to check my PL is fine and still there.
And so that she could give me some TREAT.

Twice I smelled a DEER.
And not once I took off like mad.

Once I saw a DOG!
And my PL told me to go back and I went back.

I am beginning to be as good as an angel.
When I am on leash, that is.

My PL says, now it is up to her.
She says, there is some psychological barrier, which keeps her from letting me to run free.
I looked around but there was no barrier to be seen.
None at all.

I am confident, my PL will manage to overcome this, though.
She is very clever and she is mine!

The only thing I am not yet that good at is to "stay".
I only manage to stay for about 3/4 of the leash lenght.
Then, when I see my PL getting far, far away...
and my beloved FOOD getting far, far away with her...
...I just have to get up and follow them.

Well, nobody is perfect!
So far!!

Tuesday 21 April 2015

DAY 18: SECONDARY PACK-LAND

Our pack has vast territory.
It is not just about guarding our windowsill and bark at insolent passers by.

On the pack days we sometimes go to our secondary pack-land.
(I can use complicated words, I chewed a dictionary once, I am an educated dog!)

There are sofas and barns and moles and FENCES.
Many many fences and PEOPLE walk by.
And sometimes DOGS, too. And worst of all - HORSES!!!

I can tell you, it is a tough job to guard it all, bark and run around.
It is not like at home, where I can bark my head of, just laying on the windowsill.

At our pack-land, you have to zoom from one side of the garden to the other in top speed!
Dotty sometimes cheats and takes a shortcut through the house.
I do not cheat, I run around like a good dog!
Which is not at all related to that unfortunate incident, when I tried to turn into the door in high speed and hit a door frame. Not at all!



When I am not running around and barking, I have another important role.
I guard the door.
Look!
No enemy shall pass.
Unless they step on me, of course.

Well, it was a demanding day but I managed to keep our pack safe.
Dorotka has already retired and I am going to join her.
Good night!




Dorotka always snuggles in bed

Heey! Let me in!



Come on!! Pleeease, let me in!!
Well, it took you a while!

DAY 17: DEER!!!

I was very good and clever girl today, I ate from a spoon and I learned how to "stay" but most importantly...DEER!!!

It was one of the best days in my life.

Firstly, we went for a walk. GREAT!
I don´t know how it happened but I was obedient!
I was the bestest girl in the town. Well, on the meadow, anyway.

I came EVERY TIME my PL called me.
Really, absolutely every - single - time.
I stayed EVERY TIME I was asked to "stay".

And just look at this!!!


It was no coincidence, I managed to stay twice before (and about five times I didn´t). I know, I know, even on this video I stood up before I was called but it was just because I already knew the drill so well.

 
And look, I can eat with a spoon. Am I not a clever girl?

But all this is so unimportant, compared to the biggest event of all.

I was just casualy walking around, sniff here, sniff there....thinking: "Hm, this statue smells weird!"
And all of sudden this huge, enormous DEER sprang up from behind the statue!!!

It was gigantic and had antlers like a bull.
Well, not like a bull. Bigger, much much bigger!
Of course, I started chasing it - you cannot expect even the most well trained dog of all to stand still under such circumstances, can you?

But I DID stop, when the leash did not let me to go any further. And I TURNED and ran back to my PL. Maybe it was related to the fact, that the deer disappeared into the forest by then. Maybe. Anyway, I was really GOOD GIRL, given the temptation.

I am so excited.
What might we see next time?
A deer, that is a serious upgrade compared to mice.
I will dream about bears tonight!!

P.S. My PL tells me you are sending me some Laikas on Facebook. So I just want to tell you that if some Russian space dog lands in my home, I will bite it!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Monday 20 April 2015

DAY 16: HAPPY DOG

Quite frankly, my hopes weren´t high.

It was raining outside, gloomy and grey, it did not look like walkies weather.
Maybe there will be no more mice meadow walks.
Ever.

There! There it was! I almost got it!!
And you know what?!
We did go OUT!
To the meadow!
To chase micesss!!!

I carefully checked all promising mice holes.
Once I almost caught a MOUSE!
It did escape in the end but I am sure I really scared her.
At least I think so.
If only mice digged wider tunnels.
Or if my snout was wee longer.
Teda aspoň si to myslím.

My PL was trying some new miraculous towel on me.
It is supposed to dry a wet doggy. Completely.
Well, at the start, I was wet on the back and my belly was dry and the towel was damp.
At the end, I was damp all over the dog and so was the towel.
I guess it was a draw.

Fortunately my PL likes the "wet dog" scent, she says.
So we are both happy.

P.S. Do you know you can actually write me a comment bellow? I like reading fan mail! :-)

Friday 17 April 2015

DAY 15: SAD DOG

No walk today :-(
That is second day in a row!
The mice on MY meadow are having wild parties, I am sure!

No idea, what is happening.
Our PL was hunting yesterday and yet she came late again today.
A terrible thought occured to me.
What if she has some OTHER pack somewhere?!
What if she likes them more them me.
What if she feeds them MY FOOD?!

Wait, no, it is allright.
I sniffed her carefully and she had no hanky panky with strange dogs.
Uff, what a relief!

I was so hungry when she came at last, that instead of "sit-lie down" I was performing pushups.
I guess my PL felt sorry for me, so I got a tin to lick clean. Not so bad.

But tomorrow, tomorrow we will go chasing mice, won´t we?! Say we will!

Good night.



Wednesday 15 April 2015

DAY 14: I AM CONFUSED

No walkies today.
My PL went hunting, came home late but with lots and lots of food.
Which is cool.
Since walk is good but FOOD is BETTER!

But then it was really weird.

PL opened a tin.
Dotty and me came running.
I know the drill, so I am cool, I know what is required.

So, I start with "sit" and "lie down" and I make big eyes...
Easy peasy. Especially the eyes trick.
My speciality.
I am REALLY good at making big eyes!

So I am sitting and looking and waiting...
and NOTHING!
Just absolutely NOTHGING!!!

My PL is holding FOOD, I can smell how delicious it is and NOTHING.
"FETCH BALL", says PL.
Ball? What the hell is ball?
Maybe it means sit down.
It does not.
So...maybe it is lie down?
Neither.
Sit and then lie down?
No.

What is happening?! I want my FOOD!

What is this annoying yellow thing doing here?
It is in the way, I cannot see the food.
I will roll it away, like this...
and my PL is overjoyed and I get FOOD!
What?!

I worry my PL is mad.
Come on, let´s just take it easy, shall we?
I will sit down. Lie down. Sit - lie - make eyes. Lying down. Still lying down. Nothing.
PL is staring at that ugly, annoying yellow thing.

You can´t be serious?!
Really, all you want is for me to touch it with my nose?
Are you sure?
Allright then, if that is what you wish for...nudge, nudge...

IT WORKS!!!!

So, my dear friends, let me to introduce you to yet another food-switch.

It is called: "The ball, Jenny, the BALL, you silly dog!" and you are expected to nudge it a bit.
Here it is:






Tuesday 14 April 2015

DAY 13: HPL (HARSH PACK LEADER) DAY

My PL came home today in a very bad mood. Harsh as a sand paper.
I guess it is going to be a HPL day.

She told me off as soon as she walked through the door just because I was jumping on her, barking as mad, trampled on her feet and chased cats. Which I do always and normally it is no big deal.

So, to be on a safe side, I turned on "the most obedient and good black dog in the world" mode.

Being a good dog
I came everytime when called.
I sat down.
I even managed to "stay" a few times.
It only required a little pull of a leash, so that I remembered I wanted to be a good dog.

I guess it worked since by the end of the walk, my PL was her usual nice self and she scratched me and told me I am a good girl.

And she let me finish all the buiscuits she had in the pocket.
So, after all, it was GREAT DAY!

DAY 12: WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE WAS A BAD DOG

I love this trip!
Everybody else was a bad dog. And I wasn´t!

It started when we arrived.
There was a bit of chaos, people, dogs, the puppy...and suddently we realized Dotty is missing.
So our PL went to search for her and found her casually strolling around a neighbour´s garden. She did not even move an ear when called.
Well, I WOULD move an ear!
Maybe.





Then there was all the playing with a pup and his people were giving us treats any my PL was telling them off for not asking me to sit down first.
But I sat down anyway, sometimes.
Such a GOOD DOG I am!

But the best moment was yet to come!
We went for a walk to the big garden and there were CHICKENS!
Just running free, all over the place.
And I did not chase them.
And puppy did.
And it did not stop, when called!
It was a BAD PUPPY!

P.S. Well, I did not chase them, since I was on the leash and my PL had to fight hard against my pull, but these are insignificant details, not worth mentioning at all. The important thing is that the puppy was a BAD DOG and I was not!

P.S.2 All right, I did try to jump into the pond to chase some ducks, I admit it. But my PL managed to drag me away, so it does not count!

P.S. 3: And it was simple misuderstanding, me eating the food left on top of a kitchen table. I just assumed it was left there for me. Anyone can make a mistake, so let´s not talk about it any more, right?

DAY 11: DAY OF MANY DOGS

So, the puppy was not for eating, after all. It was to play with.

Dorotky was not all the excited about it but I loved it!

Well, I did try to taste it just a bit but was told off.
No obedience training and being a good dog for today, though.
I guess puppies act as a switch to turn obedience off!

DAY 10: DAY OF THE LONG LEASH


What a fantastic walk today!


I could go anywhere I wanted.
All right, not ANYWHERE but almost.

Look how far I am from my PL!
(And look how loooong PL I have! Amazing, isn´t it?)








It was a bit confusing at first but I got used to it and I was quite an obedient dog, actually.
See here - I am doing HEEL!
Well, more like LEG.
At the leg...
On top of...
 
Forget it.
 
 
We have met that insolent white labrador, who sniffed me last time.
She sniffed me again!
Her PL was saying: "Stop it, she will bite you!"
So I bit her.
Just a little.
Really.

A very successfull day all in all!

P.S. We are going to visit friends tomorrow. They have a puppy, I am told. No idea what it is but maybe it is kind of food. I am looking forward to it!
My meadow

DAY 9: HOW I WAS NOT A CLEVER DOG

Today I was fed manna from heavens!
Do you remember how I mentioned a rookie? We are getting there - today instead of buiscuits I was given some CHICKEN!

Not that it was enough to turn me away from all the other exciting things around. But when I ocassionally remembered, there is a Pack-Leader-Chicken-Vending-Machine around, it was FANTASTIC!


 

Until the moment this stupid tree wrapped itself in my leash.
It was increadibly wicked tree.
Just observe - a big meadow all around.
Miles of it.
And in the middle - A TREE.
It jumped right into my path. Sneaky bastard!
I was patient, actually.
Just standing and waiting if it realises its mistake and unwinds itself.
And what do you think? Did it unwrap itself?
NO!
Stupid vegetable.
My PL had to rescue me.
How humiliating!

It did not stop me looking really cool, thouhg. Here you can admire how photogenic I would be, in the golden evening light, if I was able to sit for a moment on one spot. Which I was not. Too bad.

Actually, I COULD HAVE sit and stay on one spot. But my PL has run out of the chicken by then.

DAY 8: ALL CALM ...

...on the walkie front.
Well, except a nasty competition on the mice meadow. Just click on the picture to enlarge and you will see! Not one but three...eagles, vultures or whatever they are. I am sure they are after MY mice!
PL says they are just buzzards but I suspect she is just saying it to calm me down.


OK, I was checking on all mice and it seems we are cool. They are still plenty. They have mice-ways everywhere. Much watch out, though, so that those wingos do not get them before I do!

I am still more interested in everything around rather then in my PL.
Sure, I enjoy it when I get a buiscuit.
But to come for it...I need to be reminded by a twich of a leash.
There are just SO MANY interesting things around...!


So, here, just see how good looking I am in setting sun. I am not a good dog yet, but surely I am beautiful, right?


DAY 7: I AM A NAUGHTY MONSTER

I am a greedy naughty monster!

At least that is what my PL said. When she discovered I ate the whole toastie bread. Not that it was in any way comparable to those delicious buiscuits yesterday. Anyway, I looked apologetic. More or less.

But then...then we want for a walk on the mice meadow and folks, I must show you something! Just look how INCREDIBLY GOOD DOG I am! Not even needing a command!
 


Amazing, right?!  I am just so talented dog, I am able to be a greedy naughty monster AND incredibly good doog AT THE SAME TIME!
 
Dorotka cannot compare to me. She is just incredibly good dog all the time and that´s it. Pff! Anyone can do that. Nowhere near to my skill level!
 
 

DAY 6: I WAS A BAD DOG

While my PL was at work, I discovered she forgot a bag of buiscuits in her coat pocket.
Almost full bag.

So I pulled it out and ate the lot.
I thought no way I could be discovered, since I have all the buiscuits in my belly. Turns out some pack-age gave me away. Not aware of another pack present in the house. I must watch out for that sneaky telltale bastard.

I was a very good dog on the walk. I was coming back, sitting down, laying down, sitting up...too bad, though, today I just was a naughty dog.
 
Anway, just between me and you - the buiscuits were totally worth it!

DAY 5: A TIN EUPHORY

Just between you and me, my PL is goofing off this pack day.

No buiscuit walk.
No sniffing and chasing insolent mice.

On the other hand, it is true that it is pouring down.
I checked it about twenty times.
However, rain at the back garden does not necessary mean it is also raining in the front. Or on the mice meadow. Or does it?

At last, dinner has improved my day.
Dotty got hers in her bowl and I had to do a floor excercise, though.
Sit and lie down. Sit and lie down...
I felt like a rookie at the army camp.

(Mmmmm...ROOKIE! That´s a though!)

But I got a handful of food every time, so not so bad in the end.

Twice my PL did not ask me to sit.
She just looked at me.
I looked at her.
She looked at me...

So I sat down to remind her that she forgot to ask me to.
And she was really excited and gave me extra BUISCUIT! GREAT!
(I just hope she is not becoming senile prematurely).

And then the best moment came.
I got a TIN to lick it clean.
I already gave up hopes that tin-times are coming back and suddenly such a joy!

I was so happy I took a tin with me to the garden and left it there. Never mind, it will still be there tomorrow.

Tummy full of delicious food AND buiscuits, tin waiting for me in the garden, to sum it up this turned out to be a really successful day. Even without mice hunting.

DAY 4 CONT.: I AM A GOOD DOG!


But only in the evening, at home.
 
PL says: "Sit."
I sat.
PL says: "Lie down."
I lay down.
 
PL says: "Stay".
 
PL went away. Totally away. Behind two closed doors! I guess she is not coming back. Ever.
 
I am sitting and waiting.
Sitting.
Still sitting.
 
PL came back and gave me my dinner!
I am a very happy dog!
 
 

DAY 4: PACK DAY

I love our pack days.

Our PL does not go anywhere and she spends the whole day with us. Twice in a row! Shame on other days she always leaves in the morning and comes back in the afternoon. I guess she goes hunting.

Now when I think of it, it is a bit disturbing she did not go hunting today. There seem to be a sudden shortage of food lately. I really hope she will bring a mammoth tomorrow. Or something like that. If she let me, we could have had some mice yesterday.

When our PL got up this morning I though we would be going to a buiscuit walkie but she cleaned windows instead. I guess she did it, so that I and Dorotka could better see all those suspicious people, walking past the house and so that we could bark at them even more.
We are fantastic pack!

Just when I though I would be spending a calm day on a windowsill, we are going out. GREAT!
To the mice meadeow. GRRREAT!!!


I chased a duck.
My PL was not happy. Probably because I did not catch it.
You know what?
I have a theory. My PL is kind of buiscuite vending machine. It turns on by running back to her, sitting down and making doggie eyes.
It is good to know.
Once I get bored by sniffing and chasing, I might pop to her for a snack.

I am told I am still not a good dog.
No idea why.