ENTRY 86: LASER DOG

At last I have found my superpower.

Laser Snout!

How does that sound?

I think it sounds pretty cool.

Now, I have to decide how will I use it to the benefit of the whole humanity. And doggenity.
Dogkind... Well, whatever. You know what I mean.

Cutting unpenetrable tins of dog food, perhaps?

ENTRY 85 : MY PL BETRAYED ME

My PL came home last night. I am charging to great her as usual and suddenly what do I smell?

A STRANGE DOG!

She was cuddling A STRANGE DOG somewhere!

I just do not get it.

She has such a wonderful dog at home - I mean ME.

And she goes and cuddles some ugly (I am sure she was ugly!), bad smelling (I am sure she was bad smelling), unattractive and unintelligent strange bitch.

I am deeply disappointed, quite insulted and I will not speak to my PL. Until dinner at least!

DAY 84: SPORADIC SUMMER POSTING

Because it is hot.

And because I am lazy.

And because my PL is lazy.

And because it is super hot.



I have a feeling the traditional regular daily updates will be more like irregular not-so-daily updates.

Keep checking though, I am sure great things will happen ocasionally!

DAY 83: I HATE FLAT THINGS

Well, actually I LIKE flat things. Some of them.

For instance flat treats are fine.

And flat leash is cool - since it means we are going for walkies.

I also like being a flat dog when it is too hot and I am tired (does not happen too often, I admit)

But what I REALLY HATE are the flat things which are impossible to be picked up from the ground.

Such as this one.

Playing with it is cool.

My PL throws it away and I run to fetch it and then we wrestle a little and Dorotka is hiding away since I usually tread on her in my excitement. That is all very fine.

EXCEPT when the flat thing falls on a flat surface.

Not only my snout gets almost grazed by me trying in vain to pick it up. I also look like idiot - and folks, I really hate looking stupid! I hit it with my paws which makes no difference. I would swear that thing is sniggering at me!

So, come on, my good PL, pick it up so that we can play again, OK?

DAY 82: HOW I WAS(NOT) A BRAVE DOG

Weird things were happening last night.

First there was a loud BANG!

And then there were lots of blue lights and lots of big red vans and lots of noisy people.

Even my PL behaved differently - instead of sleeping with Dorotka, she was going out and in again, she looked seriously and was telling me: "Shut up and sit down, Jenny."

And I was SUCH A GOOD DOG!


I did not bark, although those people on the street were pissing me of.

I was following my PL around, just in case she needed a bit of doggy support (DOGGY, not dodgy, in case you misread!) and I was all ready to BE A VERY BRAVE DOG.

But the firefighters seemed to have it under control, so I got no chance to prove it.

So I am going for a little nap now, to be at least A BRAVE GUARD DOG tomorrow.

DAY 81: JENNOSAURUS

On Pack Lands the garden is tidy - nicely cut grass, lovely flowers, you can run through like a lightning, no problem!

At home, is is a different story.

At home, the garden is dramatic. Mysterious. Wild.

It is an unpenetrable jungle, full of secret places, bird nests, dark corners and thick bushes.

You cannot see through, you cannot even sniff, what is happening a few meters away!

There can be anything, lurking in the greed darkness.

And there it is....

....wild and dangerous JENNOSAURUS!!!

It attacks you out of nowhere...

...and will lick you to death!

Unless you have a treats in your pocket, of course!

DAY 80: HAND WASH

I love to help with cooking.

I am just natural.

Nobody has to was dishes, deal with garbage and test ingredience when I am in charge.

...and on top of that I am great when it comes to washing hands. I even include a delicate tongue massage.

If you are planning to cook something delicious, remember, I am here for you!

A know what my pack duty is.



The only thing which worries me is the petrol station at the motorway. I noticed they have a big sign there, advertising a HAND WASHING!

Bloody competition!!!

DAY 79: GREEN IS GOOD

CUCUMBER PEELING?

they say it everywhere.

Eat vegetables.

It is full of roughage.

And vitamins.

And minerals.

I am a modern dob, I follow trends.

Jsem moderní pes, jdu s dobou.




SNATCH!!!

So I eat vegetables, including the ones with minerals.


 

I will be slim and healthy and beatiful.

Well...actually...I already am.




P.S. I am considering to auditon for a role of a vegetarian dogosaur in the next Jurrasic Park movie. I am sure to be casted! I will be a star!

CARROT PEELING?

SNATCH!!!

DAY 78: I AM AN OLD HAG

To je on, bestie!

I knew it would happen one day.

And that terrible day was today.

I am no longer a spring chicken.

I am an old hag, my PL says.

Not sure what hag is but surely it is something terrible.

Here, can you see it?

My first WHITE HAIR!



Knírek je cool. Bílej chlup ne.

My silver moustache is fine, it is actually COOL.

But white hair, that is entirely different matter.

It is end of my glossy black days.

A few more months and I will look like a keeshound. Or worse - people will mistake me for arctic fox. Slovakian Cuvac. Samoyed even!

Not even a horny poodle will consider me attractive.

I am going to brood in my bed. Good night.